I Feel Guilty For Wanting to Re-Home Mom

 Many adult children face this question every day, not sure what the right solution is, and the great part is, you are not alone!

85% of seniors want to stay at home for as long as possible

    The statistics are overwhelming, however, the expectation of staying home is different than it if it is feasible and realistic for someone to remain at home. Some older adults maintain their independence and ability to complete activities of daily living up until they pass away, others, are more than likely going to need additional support along the way, whether that means home health services like physical therapy, or respite care for a family caregiver when they go on vacation. 

 There are many people involved

    If your mom or dad wants to stay at home, but you or your siblings have observed their daily routine long enough to know that home is no longer safe for them, that is something to take note of. You can also get their physician, social worker, and the rest of their care team involved as well. If moving is not realistic, there are many home modification services and resources that can help renovate a home to make it senior-safe. 

Guilt is a normal feeling

The phrase "putting them in a home," is unfortunately common, but this is not the status quo. Many seniors live in continuum of care retirement communities and other senior living facilities and live fulfilling and independent lives. Someone's forever home might not be feasible forever, given the increased likelihood of falls, or maybe someone is further away from family while living alone - these situations aren't safe and require careful evaluation. 

Barriers to care

There are also many cultural factors that might be involved as well. Certain Asian, Hispanic, and European cultures have strong principles of filial piety, which require adult children to care for their aging parents. Although there is no comparison to the care that a family member can provide, not every family member is emotionally, financially, medically, or physically equipped to do so, and not everyone necessarily wants or is able to do so. There are infinite situations that could cause this barrier to family caregiving. 

This doesn't have to be the end of the conversation. Moving an aging relative into a senior living community is not a decision to be made lightly, and requires a lot of thought, planning, and coordination. This can also be a positive change. Relocating also isn't the only option either, there are many possibilities and resources that are available to assist with the aging population, and the goal is to find what works best for you. 

You can feel reassured knowing that you are trying to do what is best, and join them along the journey to figure out what would work best for them.